OCD

A lot of people make jokes about being OCD and I always kind of went along with those jokes because I usually do one of two things when I'm confronted with things I don't fully understand. I get angry or I turn it into comedy. It makes it easier to understand. But it can also make it more confusing. I've been watching A LOT of glee lately and I really loved one character in particular, Emma. For those of you who do not watch the show, she's a quirky big-eyed woman who wears adorable fifties inspired clothing. I love it. I also identify with her because of her again--quirky nature. Her "quirks" were highlighted in a specific episode, and she had to identify herself as OCD. And I realized that although her issue was dramatized for the purpose of the show, it can be debilitating. I never thought of it as that harmful before. Once I began thinking about it, it's hit me that my own OCD has been affecting me negatively. Sometimes I can't go to sleep because my desk isn't neat enough or I have to write a list before I do pretty much anything now or how I can't put socks back on after I've taken them off even if it's been 10 seconds. I'm worried that I'm getting worse. It probably because I'm near my mom more and she sets off a lot of my control issues and my guilt about not tidying things. I'm worried that my OCD issues is becoming my strange addiction. There is a difference. There's a difference between me feeling compelled to alphabetize my DVDs and making a habit of washing my hands at least once an hour.

I told myself at the beginning of this year that I would start talking to a therapist. I think it's about time I did that.