Finishing this paper? erg...

Maybe I should listen to Spice Girl advice.

YES!

This paper is about to go DOWN!

I'm just going to do it. I'll make the sketch over the next few days, but I'm going to do it because it's unnecessary in a necessary way.

Let's rocket it out of here.

It's time to be a little stupid and extremely brave.

Definitions.

I enjoy dictionaries and thesauruses. Looking up words again and again, really deciphering the intricacies of their meanings is one of my favorite things to do. Instead of playing angry birds or whatever other games are super popular right now, I play word games on dictionary.com. It's a bit sad, but also good for gettin' smarter. Anyway, they have these highlights on the homepage, sometimes articles, sometimes things to consider. Today's has a page with all these short words that you'd believe didn't mean anything much. There is one that applies to me:

Bee:

To be obsessed with one idea

Ah, obsession. My dear old friend.

Still Useless.

I'm not making much progress... I think coming here was a mistake.

There's no reason this shouldn't be done already.

Anyway, I realized tonight how I am getting more and more ready to "pass the clipboard" and move on with where ever life takes me. I used to be able to be at a CAB event and know a large portion of the students, and now there is only a handful. That's the way it's supposed to go though. Senior year. Holy shit. It's almost over. Part of me thinks that is why I'm being such a shit student. I'm trying to hold on in some way.

Or I'm just lazy.

That One.

So you know that one friend that scores well in all areas (intellect, interests, physical attractiveness, etc.) and that you flirt with but never actually do anything about.
I've figured out that I'm that person for many people. Which, to be honest, is not a bad thing. It's nice usually. I cover a rather broad range of interest and I get to flirt with people with wild abandon.
I was talking to a friend of mine recently about how I found out an associate of mine used to like me and how I never saw it. He looked at me and said, "Britta, I'm pretty sure most people have had a crush on you at some point. It's hard not to." I was both flattered and abashed. Firstly, I don't think that many people have had crushes on me. Secondly, I'm never aware of this. Or, if I am, I get all weirded out, even if I like them in anyway shape or form.

It's just funny how people approach things. I'm glad people feel they can make that kind of connection with me but don't need that added pressure to make anything happen.

I think that comes with being the sort of friend I am. Open, and wanting to be a confidante. Which is to say, I'm more willing to listen than to give information about my life. I'm also pretty terrible when it comes to keeping up with people... I'll say it. I'm pretty awful. Sorry about that. I try...sometimes...

Sometimes, I'm Useless.

I'm so close to being done, but I'm the only thing standing in my way.

Oh well.

Maybe tomorrow I'll wake up and chunk these last papers out and be completely ready for the world again. I hope so.

Bloop dee bloop.