Ah-ha!

I know what I'm going to do now. Don't expect to see me much in the next 2-3 months, my friends. I've got a plan!
Let's make it through today first though!

XOXO,

Bee

Welcome to Britta's life, where everything's made up and the points don't matter.

You know that feeling you get when you're on the very top of the roller coaster, front seat, your knuckles white with fear, and it slows down right before the plunge? It's the worst isn't it? But once you're back in motion, it's absolutely exhilarating! I feel like I've been stuck on the top of that fucking roller coaster for about 6 months and it's still not budging very much.

Everyone keeps telling me that I need to open up and talk to somebody. But whenever I do, I feel like I'm just complaining and it's not that bad or I should be more mysterious, I'm taking up someone else's time, or I'm a brat. It's a terrible feeling. It's terrible because I have this need to make sure everyone sees me in this specific light and can ignore all my fucked up tendencies or think they are just cute quirks. I want everyone to see me as this rockstar of a person, but that's not how the world works. I'm not perfect and I should never try to make the world see me for anything other than what I am, better or worse.

Confessions of an over-achiever (a.k.a. Britta is a mad, mad, mad, mad, mad woman).

This is pretty great.

I guess you had a larger impact on me than I thought.
I don't like that about myself.

I feel like I'm partially letting myself down, but at the same time I feel so relieved. I can't be perfect. I can't always be 100%. Not everything is so cut and dry. It's not that I failed or succeeded, I reached out and, for me, that's an even more difficult thing to do then push through a struggle. So much more.

Either run from it or learn from it

There are different types of strength, and I believe I've just found mine.

Today, I am going to make one of the largest changes in my academic career. I feel better already.

Add some, loose some.

It's a little weird because it's set to the original music video, but this version is SO GOOD.

This is on my list of all-time favorite songs.

You know, I really want to start getting my tattoos.

I want three. My sister one, my jason one, and my newest thought.

Be present.

You have no idea what you meant to me today.

I am so grateful for you.

I love you,

Miss Marple

I just want to watch My Girl. And go home.

I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it.

Crash.

I can feel the momentum building already. One that is building faster than my heart, my head, or my body can handle. My brain is urging for it to be over but my limbs are not with me. It's not that I don't want to be here anymore and finish this without a big ordeal, myself doesn't seem to want to finish. In this sense I'm my mother's daughter, starting overly-ambitious projects and letting them collect dust halfway though. Physical projects, I can handle in a heartbeat and I can do them well and with exceptional motivation, but this, this is something different. This is my thoughts, all my good ones, all in one package.

I don't know what I'm waiting for.

First day to try and break an old habit and i've already caught myself like 15 times. No wonder people have trouble when they try to quit smoking. Dermatillomania, you ass.